So I was staring up at the ceiling (some thing I do a lot.) and thinking of something to do...anything at all (ofcouse I had a bad writer's block at that time considering all the events that were taking place alltogether at the same time, including me being boycotted) and then looked outside my window and the wet green leaves and the cloudy evening sky behind the hills just awed me. I thought to myself, "This isn't half bad..."
This was the starting of my time within the four walls. The reason why I was boycotted, well, I shall write about that later ( and seriously, the reason is just so rediculous that you would probably go and jump off a cliff or something.)
Everyday I would wake up with that dim light and soft feeling of the fabric of my blanket, oh I absolutely couldn't complain. The only thing that made me very sad was the look on my mother's face when I would meet her for the meals in the dining hall (We were in a residential institute that time and we couldn't leave because my brother was studying there and it was the middle of the year.) Her face would be full of sadness that only I could make out but she always tried to fake a smile so as to give me strength to go through what I was going through. Music and internet was my saviour. I have got to say, Google is fascinating...anyway, because I had so much time, I started researching on blackholes, in theory time travel is actually possible according to string theory, it's the gravity that helps (we shall go in deep about this some other time), got into the roots of vampirism and the things I found out are just so shoking and interesting at the same time (yes, we shall get back to this too sometime). I started making music and met very interesting people online, some of whom are very prominent parts of my life right now, worked out like a mad bitch and wrote monthly for "Teen Ink", an US based magazine.
Sometimes loneliness would get to me, but it just made me who who I am today, well not entirely, but a part of it considering I have had not one but a lot of incidences like this.
One of the very prominent things that can be seen on me even today because of this time period is my eyebrow and lip piercing. (Absolutely glad is all I am, no regrets.) Let's come to how my mind worked here. I very much believe in being positive and in turning everything into something positive. I have always loved tattoos and piercings. (yes they turn me on and I absolutely love Kat Von D). So at that point of time, the emotional and mental pain was just too much, it had crossed the saturation point, I needed to feel something other than that mental pain....so I grabbed the opportunity...and pierced myself (LOL it took me about 45 mitutes to just collect guts in front of the mirror and make the sterelised hot needle go through my skin). Anybody who knows me today or has seen me can see that these piercings are a very natural part of me.
One more good things that came out of my time within four walls (and yes this is when I start taking people's asses, well atleast the guilty ones think so! :p) out of many good things and the things I learned about myself is that I got my first movie offer during this period, that too online! (The reason behind it being shelved. :p) But then I had my first experience of recording in a professional studio. Funny how much we can learn. I also bumped into a person I thought I knew from the online chats at the palm expo, we kept staring at eachother only to find out a week later that, yes! Indeed we knew eachother! Funny part I had already gone back to nasik by then. (there's more to the story here.)
All I can say is that I had the best fime discovering myself in those conditions, ended up with a few painted canvases and songs and written pieces...there's nothing better than taking asses of the asses by turning the game in your way I say...
fuck the world...fuck the people who are mean to you....you make your rules and live by them..you are far better than a thousand people out there...you rock and keep rocking...
ReplyDeletewould love to hear more about the parts in bracket !!!
you have a very interesting life ...need to know more :) :)
Thank you so much. :) well I do have an interesting life and I absolutely love it! :)
Deleteyea you sure do...recordings all day..traveling...gigs...thats a killer lifestyle !!! :)
DeleteAll I can say is its situations like these that make you a stronger person and what you are today. So just follow your soul and do your thing, cause no ones gonna stop you. Just keep walking and don't look back and if you get lost and hear footsteps following you, still never look back cause thats just your eternal shadow watching out for you, Yes..................SSP;)
ReplyDeleteI know so...may the shadow keep watching...
Deleteyou should write daily...you're writing is so damn good..and stories so interesting !!!!
ReplyDeleteHaha...I should have the time to do so too right. :)
Deletehahaha...wish you a little free time :P
ReplyDelete